turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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