i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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