Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
