well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just tell him i said nine months
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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