i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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