at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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