I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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