Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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