I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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