Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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