Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
