my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
