If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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