haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I need a burrito and a hug.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize