I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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