My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
