He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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