Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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