3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
