Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm really busy with my period
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