remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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