do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
