Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
