I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
