My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have already put on my inside pants.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
