For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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