Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
