You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
