Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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