you guys were way drunker than both of me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
