come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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