god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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