she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize