her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
