Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize