So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
