11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
