What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
