Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
