do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
