So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
