did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your penis caused this!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
