Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
