Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
