He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
