I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize