Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize