Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
