Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
