WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
