Duck Duck Cougar?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize