not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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