i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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