We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
