It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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