i would punch a child for taco bell
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
