it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
