Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
