hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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